Praying Out loud

Praying Out loud

Written by: Jill Sheets

 

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There are many things that I do not feel comfortable doing. It is not something new, but I am still drugging it along with me as I grew up. It is getting too hard to carry.

Most of you know that I did not grow up going to church. When I did go, I was not expected to pray out loud or even do anything. So when I started to go to my husband’s church I noticed people asking others to pray out loud. I was confused because most of the churches I had been to the pastor was the only one that prayed, so I thought there is no way anyone would ask me to pray out loud. That is until………..Choir.

I honestly did not even think of people asking me to pray. I know I would be the last person to chose, and I would just have to say, “Thank you, Father Amen.” short and sweet. Surely I could not mess that up. But when asked all I could say was, “no thank you.” “No Thank You”, who could say no to that? I was embarrassed that I could not do it. I could do many things, but not able to pray out loud?

Thinking things over today, I believe I know some of the reasons. They may not be a big reason for others, but when I think of it I want to hide in the “Cubby room.”

Here is the first of many reasons. Ones that I remember, others I have forgotten. Isn’t that life?

When they are asking for prayer requests, I cannot write the request fast enough. I am still staring at my sheet of paper trying to figure out how to spell the name of the person who needs the prayer request, then I forget the name altogether or give up.

Another one is that I am going to forget about what I was going to say. There is nothing like dead air and unable to remember what you were saying. Now that is forgetfulness. Many people say that their mind went blank, but I call it Fibro Fog.

What if I say that wrong things?

What if people judge me?

These are most of the reasons of why I am scared to pray out loud. Some may say get over it, but not that easy.

Fun little fact. I can be on stage, but not pray out loud. The reason why is being on stage I am not myself. I am a character that someone has written.

Looking back at what I wrote I have boiled it down to one major thing, my brain, specifically my memory.

You have things you would not do that I would, and there are things you would do that I would not do. You all know that saying, “everyone is different”.