Guest Blog With Sarah Dickinson
Guest Blog With Sarah Dickinson
Despite changing fads, trends or
hashtags some things stay the same; we all crave the connection and
contentment that comes with finding our person. That one jewel among
the masses who gets us supports us as we share ourselves and our
lives.
Here are 5 reasons we should all
consider a change in our relationship.
- YOU ARE BEING LIED TO. I’m not here to preach to anyone about how to find that perfect person or how to have that couple goals relationship that social media displays for us daily. What I’m here to do is write down the words that all of us need to hear. What we should never tolerate. Far too often many of us find ourselves making excuses for people who don’t treat us well because we care about them. Lying is one of those things that qualify as a deal breaker. Be it about themselves, their intentions, or frankly anything else, relationships can’t work without trust and trust will never be possible with someone lying to you.
- CONFLICTING LIFE GOALS. This is obviously a grey area, a touchy dialogue that is rarely black and white, and only you the individual can decide if it applies to you. However, the cold hard truth is sometimes, despite the attraction or the feelings, there are just too many deal breakers. If you can’t envision a future without starting a family, you wouldn’t want to invest yourself with someone who is adamantly against having children. Sometimes conflicting goals and preferences can create a balance and a taste of the best of both worlds. Yet other times it is simply a recipe for growing apart, resentment and, eventually moving on.
- YOU CAN’T RESOLVE PROBLEMS. I’m going to share some personal life experiences on this one. I must have been about 17 years old when my mother told me that the first fight you have with someone your dating is what you will fight about throughout your relationship. Here we are 20 plus years later, and I have to say her words were pretty spot on. You may always fight about activities, movies or how to spend your weekend. The bigger problem is when those unresolvable issues reflect things like jealousy, distrust, dishonesty, or control.
- YOU STAND WHILE THEY SIT. It wasn’t very long ago I had this conversation with my own daughter. She had recently started to date her crush and was on a bit of a cloud. We all know that stage of dating, where the other person can literally do no wrong and you are completely enamored with everything about them. In her daily tales, which were all about them, as she enthusiastically gushed about the best time or funniest story, I noticed a pattern. Like a good mother I asked her, have you noticed that you go out of your way for them, yet I don’t hear about them returning that. Do you really want to be with someone who will let you stand up for them but always sit down for you? If you find yourself doing favors, catering to their moods, taking on their problems with no reciprocation it may be time to make a change.
- YOUR PARTNER IS TOXIC OR ABUSIVE. I would like to think that this is the most obvious sign, but unfortunately love can be very blinding. Oftentimes we make excuses for the people we love. We say things like, “That’s not who he really is” or “She only did it a couple of times” or “I provoked them”, “They weren’t themselves that day” and even, “They’re under a lot of stress”. These are common things we hear when our partner treats us poorly. Yes, I’ve been in fights that involved calling names, cursing and saying things we’ve both regretted. Toxic people manipulate, they are judgmental, critical, and inconsistent. They don’t take responsibility for their feelings or actions. They make you defend, prove or explain yourself to them. Abusive people rely on humiliation, verbal insults, physical violence, controlling behavior, unpredictable mood swings, picking at faults, alienating you from family/friends, manipulation, justifying their actions, and calculated outbursts. (namely they “lose their cool” when you’re alone)
In my lifetime of relationships, I’ve learned many things. I’ve
learned who I am, what I want out of life and what I deserve. I’ve
learned to love myself and not to settle for relationships that make
me happy while helping me be the very best person I am capable of
being. I’ve learned that just because you love someone doesn’t
mean that they are good for you, and the consequences of staying in
that scenario. One such relationship inspired my book Silver Spoon’s:
One’s Journey Through Addiction. A book that examines not just
addiction and recovery, but how it affects relationships. It focuses
on how the best of people, or relationships can swing from being
supportive and healing to destructive and toxic and everything in
between.
Book
Summary
Silver
Spoons: One's Journey Through Addiction takes
an intimate and raw look at the current face of addiction and
recovery. Talking about the current opioid epidemic, we follow a
young couple while one of them goes through the recovery process.
Told through letters, we get an understanding of their relationship
as it struggles through his addiction and resulting recovery. From
detox, rehab, sober living and the 12 steps of A.A, you get a raw and
honest look at the effects of addiction and how they affect
relationships.
AUTHOR
NOTE: There is explicit and graphic content.
Print
Length: 380 Pages
Genre:
Women's Fiction
Publisher:
Independently Published
ISBN-13: 978-1717868947
ISBN-10: 1717868940
Silver
Spoons: One's Journey Through Addiction is
now available to purchase at Amazon.com.
About
the Author, Sarah Dickinson
Sarah
Dickinson is a lifelong resident in beautiful upstate New York.
Mother of two amazing daughters and three equally awesome rescue
dogs, she is the author of Silver
Spoons: One's Journey Through Addiction.
She currently attends college and is in the midst of switching
careers. When she isn't doing it all, she reads comic books, blogs,
and takes weekend getaways.
You
can find the author online at:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahdauthor/
Goodreads
Page: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/19325669.Sarah_Dickinson
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