Guest Blogger Wendy Baez -- Author of "Catch a Dream"

Is peace possible without forgiveness?

by Wendy Brown-Baez / wbrownbaez@yahoo.com

“Clambering down from the ramparts, we find ourselves behind three young soldiers. They hug the walls, sliding warily past the sealed doors of striking shops. One of them has a large bandage around his head where a rock has fallen from a roof-top, probably thrown by a child. They keep to the protection of small awnings, balconies that jut into the twisting shadowed streets. Walking behind them, we feel the urge to run, to escape, we are silent and our nerves are on fire.…These young soldiers doing their duty, on guard for their very lives, are the same young men who will later sit in a pub, drink a beer, tell jokes, laugh, flirt with a girl walking by, make plans for the future: a wife, a family, a home, some decent job, to breath freely, to pray or not to pray, just as they choose, to be men. Or die in a war they did not ask for, they do not want. Or kill some teen-ager or child in a spray of rubber bullets to stop a menacing crowd or inspect every parcel passing over the border in case it shelters a bomb.  How many times before their hearts grow callused? Until the shock no longer penetrates, until revenge for the blood spilled by innocent bystanders, civilians, overcomes their conscience?”--excerpts from Catch a Dream

When I arrived in Israel it was with a very naïve belief that anyone can make peace if they really want to but I had never lived anywhere in the midst of civil unrest or conflict between countries. In Israel, although I felt the thick tension in the air, most of the time we just went about our daily lives and most of the time, the violence around me did not impact me directly. But indirectly it impacts everyone. I had to take a turn sitting in front of my son’s school in case of an attack. You can’t leave a bag unattended—it could be blown up by the bomb squad. Sometimes shops were shuttered and closed and the Old City of Jerusalem shut down. When I first arrived, we hitch-hiked all over the country; by the following year, people handed me shekels and said, “Please don’t hitch-hike, take the bus.”

Directly it meant that Israelis do Army serve after high school, someone with a weapon accompanied school outings, distrust increased between neighbors, it took hours to get through checkpoints, riots ended up in civilian deaths, family members were arrested in lieu of those the Israeli army couldn’t locate, suicide bombers caused death and chaos, homes were demolished, and everyone was always on alert. And that meant it could happen to you.

The conflict can be viewed in a variety of ways: ancient desert tribal traditions, international intrigues and influences, a tussle between two peoples who both claim the land. The situation is complex and multi-layered and I am not an expert on Israel history or politics by any means, despite having lived there for three years and after reading a number of books. But one roadblock to creating a lasting peace is the inability to forgive. As an example, your family member is assaulted. The blame is carried down through generations, leading to more retribution. The cycle never ends.

The Israelis I met wanted the conflict to stop. They were tired of war, they said. But without getting into the complicated historical background, it seems to me that the current leadership has only escalated distrust and injustice through an agenda of claiming the land for the Jewish people without taking into consideration the Palestinian people.

On the other hand, forgiving major transgressions without first exacting justice can result in more harm than good. Forgiveness without justice leads to lingering resentment on the part of the victim. It fails to communicate the seriousness of the transgression to the offender, because nothing keeps the problematic behavior from recurring in the future.

I left Israel wondering if peace is possible but it seems to me that without forgiveness, it will be impossible.

I think about my personal life and the challenge of forgiveness. It is hard to let go when you have been hurt. But what if coming to the negotiating table began with an apology? What could happen then?