Where is My Voice?

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                                                Where is My Voice?
                                                Written by Jill Sheets


It has been over 30 days total without a voice, which of course means I can not sing or talk. Two things that I love to do. I need to make it clear that it does not mean those days are in a row, but most of them have been in chunks. Long ones. When I do get my voice back it will crack out, so this is where I am at, no voice. Having a lot that I want to say, but cannot and I am tired of having to write hand-written notes.

Why is it that people think it is funny. Early on I would just smile and nod. It is not funny. It is not only affecting me but other aspects of my life. I have no idea what is going to happen. It is scary, upsetting and I find myself even more depressed. I cry at home and at work. I am frustrated. This is something that is always on my mind.

Because of this, I did not get to sing in the church cantata. I even had a solo that I loved. No voice, cannot sing. I could not even bring myself to go to church because of it. Even at home, I want to hang a sign that says “You do not get to sing until I do,” Now how stupid and selfish is that? You do not have to answer, I pretty much know it is.


This coming Friday I have an ENT appointment. Finally, it is here. The doctor will scope my throat. Hopefully, I will get answers.


I am almost done with my complaining.

There is one thing that keeps going through my mind and that it is I can still speak through my writing. I can be heard, and make a difference. With a voice or not. But let's pray for a voice too.


I hope everyone has a great Christmas.




© JMS 2019

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