I do not want to be afraid

By: Jill Sheets


european floodPicture source: : https://www.rms.com/blog/2019/03/27/european-floods-and-the-relationship-with-the-north-atlantic-oscillation


 

When I was younger I was afraid of Killer Bees--

Tornadoes, earthquakes, moving waters, snakes in the toilet--

And --

Demons.

Some of the fears are still with me today --

Along with new fears

Squishing them all into one. 

Seeing the fears when I close my eyes.

When I have night terrors.

Seeing snakes slithering out of the bathroom.

Pythons moving up the kitchen cabinets.

Water flooding the streets -- 

Cars and people getting pushed down in the water.

Falling down the steps.

Choking--

Losing my voice again

And not coming back at all.

Going blind.

So many things.

Demons --

Night terrors that fill my dreams almost every night,

My first memory of them. 

Waking up gasping for air.

Losing people I love.

Just covering a few.

I try to give my fears to God -- 

But then I take them back.

I have decided to keep handing them over to him.

I will not be afraid--

With you by my side,

Taking away my fear--

Letting it not overcome my life.

 


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